Every so often, I log onto my Facebook account and see a little notice towards the bottom left of the page: someone has “poked” me. My two options at this point are to either poke that individual back, or I can just click on the little “x” and the notice will go away. The problem with both of these options is that the person who originally sent the poke can send yet another poke, starting this whole poking adventure back up again. It’s a vicious cycle and one that I am frankly getting a little tired of. There is of course a third option: just ignore the poke. By doing so, the person who poked you can’t ever poke you back, but there will be a constant reminder that you were once poked.
Back in the infancy of Facebook, poking was all the rage. No one really knew what it was, so they applied their own meaning to it. You could poke someone you had a crush on, or perhaps a recently friended acquaintance, or even someone you didn’t even know. Heck, I would poke up to five different people on any given day, that’s how reckless I was back then! But now that Facebook has come to consume all of our lives, the dumb little gimmicks they used to need in order to stay ahead of Myspace are unnecessary. Poking is no longer cute; I’d say it’s downright obnoxious, dangerous even!
So here we are, back in the present day, and I’m wondering who I’ve got to write a letter to demanding that the Poke button be destroyed. Mark Zuckerberg? The other guy? Jesse Eisenberg? All three? As someone who has contemplated buying stock in FB, I demand my voice be heard! Why not get rid of the poke button and replace it with the highly requested Dislike button? Believe you me, no one is going to be mourning the loss of the useless poke button.
Ok you guys, I just went to check out Zuckerberg’s FB page. You see, I was thinking that perhaps the easiest and quickest way to make him aware of my disdain for the poke button would be to write on his wall. At present time, he has 4.3 million “likes” (not friends, apparently his page is categorized as public figure, negating that final scene in The Social Network). It would appear as though I would have to “like” him in order to post on his wall, and friends, that just isn’t going to happen. It looks like my crusade against the poke button will have to end here, so I’ll just close by saying: stop poking me David Opel.